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When the Ole Geezer was a boy (known as “Jimmy” then) and lived on a farm, he was kept pretty busy with chores and other farm work during the week in the summer; but on Sundays the family often had relatives or friends a’comin’ to visit and have Sunday dinner. These were ideal times for little Jimmy and his cousins or friends to play together and sometimes get into a bit of mischievous trouble. Nothin’ serious of course, but …… well, for example:

One Sunday afternoon, Jimmy and some of his visitin’ cousins decided to have a mini rodeo in the corral, which was out of sight from the farm house. They thought they’d take turns tryin’ to ride some of the calves. You can’t really get in trouble doin’ that, right? However, about a dozen milk cows were in the same corral as the calves. These cows were milked morning and evening, and then using a “separator”, the milk was separated from the cream. The cream was sold to the creamery and the skim milk fed to the calves and hogs. However, if cows are chased pretty hard and run around, they don’t produce much milk. When Jimmy and the other young’uns was a’chasin’ the calves and gettin’ bucked off’n them, it kind’a spooked all the cows. All the young’uns knew better, but thought just this once wouldn’t make that much difference and besides how would the grown ups find out? After all, the women were in the living room of the farm house talkin’, knittin’ and crochetin’ doilies while the men folk were all sittin’ at the dining room table playin’ cards (Pitch or Rummy, I think); so none ‘a them would know what was happenin’ out in the corral ….. Right? ………….. Wrong ……….

The dogs got excited and started barkin’ with all the ruckus a’goin’ on, ’cause the cows was a’ bellerin’ and the calves bawlin’, and the young’uns holler’n, “RIDE ‘EM COWBOY, YIPPEE, YAHOO.” ….. Also, one of the young’uns had just got bucked off a calf, had landed in a big ole cow platter (oppo), which hurt his pride more than his keyster, and was bawlin’ his head off. ‘Course all the racket and commotion now could be heard in the house. All the men folk came out to see what was goin’ on. When they saw all the livestock a’runnin’ around in an uproar, things got a little tense.

Daddy used a straight edge razor to shave. He sharpened that razor with a two piece double leather razor strap which, you may know, are connected at one end. If you snap these two leather straps together, the loud pop will send shivers up ur spine if you think that razor strap is goin’ to be used on ur behind instead of shapenin’ a razor.

When Daddy and the uncles saw how the cows was all worked up and runnin’ around like crazy because of what the stupid young’uns was ‘a doin’, they got a little hot under the collar. One of the men went back in the house, grabbed the razor strap and came back out to the corral. No one lost their temper and very few words were said, but everyone of those young’uns felt that razor strap a few times (hard) on their behinds by their Daddys. Weren’t any more kid rodeos in that corral. ………………. At least not that summer.

The following year, in late summer some of Daddy’s cousins from a neighboring town and No.Dak. came a’visitin’ one Sunday. Both families had young’uns about the same age as Jimmy and his little brother. I guess that’d make ‘em second or third cousins or something like that. The noon dinner was pan fried chicken, mashed potatoes (whipped with fresh farm cream and home made hand churned butter) and fried chicken gravy, corn on the cob drenched with that hand churned butter and for desert, white cake with ‘nilla frosting (little brother’s word for vanilla). After that heart healthy dinner the women folk were cleanin’ up the kitchen, washin’ dishes, ‘n such, while the men were sitting under the shade of the cotton wood trees, puffin’ on hand rolled Bull Durham tobacco cigarettes, tryin’ to decide if they should play horse shoes or a game of Pitch (cards). The young’uns headed out to a grain field a short ways from the farm house. One of the cousin kids suggested they make some tunnels through the wheat field and play a game ‘a Fox and the Geese or “hide ‘n seek” in that wheat field. To make these “tunnels” meant squashing down some stems of wheat. Not the smartest thing to do to a “cash crop”, which Jimmy knew. But …… you know that, unfortunately, peer pressure sometimes over rules common sense. Well sir, they made a passel ‘a tunnels, but didn’t play too many games, ’cause it was too hot of a summer day. Instead, they squashed down a few more stems of wheat to make a soft wheat nest. Then Jimmy taught ‘em how to make chewin’ gum from the nearly ripe wheat.

Store bought candy and gum was a scarce commodity for these families in those days. So, Jimmy’s idea to utilize wheat to get a wad of gum like substance in ur mouth was welcomed by the other young’uns.

All those young’uns was laying in their little wheat nest, chewin’ wheat gum, when suddenly all the adult men folk appeared. To this day I don’t know how they found out what those ornery little boys had done to the wheat field.

I am sure you know what happened next. …..Right ……… Somebody fetched the razor strap and ….. snap….. crackle ……pop. Everyone of those youngsters got their behinds warmed up. …… with the razor strap. ……. by their daddys. …….. in front of everyone else. …………… It was embarrassing. …….. But, a lesson well learned by each one of those young’uns.

Daddy’s wheat fields never, ever were subjected to that kind of mischievous destruction again.

Papa (Jim Diede)