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One day several years in the
future, the six grandchildren of the Ole Geezer (a male Rufous Hummingbird) and the Geezeress (an 18 foot high female Giraffe) decided to go on a vacation together.

You may recall, these six young’uns are:
RJ, the male Jaguar (or Shark if in the ocean)
Willy, the male Eagle
Emy, the female Eagle (or Penguin if in very cold ocean)
Topher, the male Dog
Gwener, the female Kitty Cat
BoJam, the male Elephant

They decided to go to the town of Big City, located in the newest state in the USA, the state of Confusion. None of them had ever knowingly been in this state before. To tell you the truth, I can’t even locate it on a United States map, but I’m sure it is there, ’cause these young’uns found it….and went there.

They were having a great time together, playin’ ball, card games, teasin’ each other, singin’ and playin’ their musical instruments and all sorts of other fun things that such unique cousins can do. One day, however, Topher the Dog decided to do something he loved to do and could do better than any of them……Chase cars. Well sir, he came upon this certain pizza truck travelin’ down the main street of Big City. He recognized the driver. This particular pizza delivery driver happened to be a guy who had given these young’uns a really bad time the night before when he delivered pizza to them. He’d cheated them, overcharged them and took advantage of them just because they were…..different.

Well sir, Topher the Dog caught that truck, chomped on a couple of the tires and made the truck crash. When the driver tried to chase Topher, Topher nipped at the driver until he ran away…….That left the busted open pizza truck unguarded and it was loaded with cheese pizza, Topher’s favorite! All that runnin’ had created quite an appetite, so Topher commenced to chow down on all that good food.

Unknown to Topher the Dog though, the driver had gone off and fetched the Dog Catcher and his deputies with their nets and cages and pellet guns and all sorts of fancy “dog catchin’ equipment”. It didn’t take long before they had Topher caught, hog tied, caged and loaded in their paddy wagon and totted that little dog off to the dog pound.

In the meantime, the two Eagles, Emy and Willy had gone for a soarin’ flight over the town and saw everything that had happened to Topher the Dog. Cousins stick together when they’re in trouble! Right? So they flew back to the condo to tell the rest of the cousins what had happened. When everyone heard the story, they put together a battle plan to spring Topher out of the dog pound. With RJ the Jaguar in the lead, Gweners the Kitty sittin’ on top of BoJam the Elephant, directin’ him, and the two Eagles, Emy and Willy flyin’ point above, they hurried to the dog pound. When they were about a block away from the dog pound, RJ the Jaguar stopped and had a quick huddle with the rest of the troops reconfirming their battle plans. When he finally said, “Ready……Set…….Go”, they all converged on that dog pound quicker’n flies on a bowl o’ rotten meat on a hot day in July. With Gwener the Kitty wavin’ her paws and singin’ her “MEW” song while sittin’ on BoJam the Elephant’s head, and BoJam trumpeting thru his trunk, “BRRRRRRRRRR” as he TROMP, TROMP, TROMPED through the walls and bars of the dog pound , RJ the Jaguar was snarling ‘n growling ‘n harassing the dog catchers. With all the destruction and commotion going on below, the two Eagles (Emy and Willy) swooped down together snatchin’ up Topher the Dog with their talons and flew up and away with him just ‘a grinnin’ and ‘a smilin’ at the goin’ on’s below.

When RJ the Jaguar, BoJam the Elephant and Gwener the Kitty saw that the Eagles had Topher the Dog safe and sound, they skedaddled out’a the dog pound and headed on back to the condo faster’n a one eyed, bald headed, stripped backed ape. (You ever seen a one eyed, bald headed, stripped backed ape?…… No? …..They must be pretty fast then. Right?….)

When the six cousins all arrived at the condo, the three now human bein’s (Jag, Charlie and Kinsey) were waitin’ for them with a big ole limousine.
RJ the Jaguar had called them just before they started on their battle with the dog catchers.

They quickly loaded up their gear, everybody jumped in the limo and they all vamoosed out’a Big City mighty fast. They were all pretty hungry after that escapade, so about 300 miles down the road, they stopped in a small town and had something to eat in a little cafe……… They paid cash for the food………… I don’t think they had cheese pizza.

Story originated and partially composed by:
(Young) ChristTOPHER Robert James Diede &
written by: Papa (Jim Diede)