rube.com

The sun hadn’t quite completely risen yet, but as its rays struggled to climb over the mountain peak to the east, there was just enough light filtering through the 100 foot pine trees so you could see the outline of the bird feeders filled with succulent seeds and a new kind of suet, just recently added by the old geezer for the birds’ dining pleasure.

The old geezer was just starting his Tai Chi practice session in front of the back bay window, where he could observe the birds chow down. The most faithful breakfast customers at the old geezer’s local bird cafe this early in the morning and at this time of year are the resident Stellar Jays. There is one particularly good-looking local couple who have been enjoying the variety of the present bird menu. Stellar Jays who live in the Upper Grant Creek area, as you probably know, are a rather large, noisy and beautiful bird with their black crested head making them appear very majestic. They may APPEAR to be majestic, but they are obnoxiously loud and have terrible table manners. They seem to enjoy spilling the seeds off the feeders with such vigor it looks like they are having a school cafeteria food fight. But then one of them will hop on down to the ground and snarf up some of the grub that the other has thrown down.

This particular morning the old geezer could almost hear the male jay, who was sitting on one of the bird seed feeders say, “Hey Babeey, catch some of dis sun flower stuff. It looks like it got’s some oil on it. Dat’s da really good kinda’ chow wid dat vitamin junk. I tink it makes da baby jays really tuff when dey comes out’a der eggs next spring. So you eat lots of it when I send it down to ya. OK?”

Then the female responded, “Ain’t dey got any unsalted peanuts here? I’d sure like some peanuts. Ain’t der some way we can get the old geezer ta add dat item ta da menu? He feeds dat sweet “Nana made” sugar stuff ta da hummin’ birds in da summer. How come WE don’t get gourmet kind’a food once in a while, too. I mean we’s permanent residents, an’ most of dem others is vagrant types dat just stays here when it’s warm. Ya know, we kind’a live here almost all year……….Even when dat white stuff is coverin’ everything in da winter, we still stays here. I ’spose we gonna have ta sweep dat white stuff out’a da nest when we get back tonight. I hate sittin’ on dat white stuff……… Hurry up wid da food, would ya….. Squawk! Squawk! Squawk!”

WOW….Did you ever hear such grouchy, loud and repugnant birds? Well, the Stellar Jay, or Camp Robber as it has been nick named by some, is noted for its repulsive, brash, overbearing voice. Now we know why…………..Well….. at least they don’t eat rabbits or turkeys………………..Or do they?

Papa (Jim Diede)

P.S. By way, the old geezer did get through his Tai Chi exercises in good shape. He finally used his i-pod so’s as to drown out the kibitzin’ Stellar Jays.